Someone...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 01:47:17 GMT

So, I am scared to say that I am with someone. With a blog, it's like a tattoo. As soon as you get that tattoo on you, that is when things fall apart. :( It's a curse. But I have to say SOMETHING. Something about someone that I am with. Someone who has made me extremely happy. And that scares me. Because I don't like the heart ache that comes when you like someone. Someone so much you would do something crazy for them. I've been with someone for a little over a month. However, I have known this someone for a long time. We've always just been friends. Until the day that we were talking and it turned out that we both kind of liked each other.

I've really met my match when it comes to him. He likes to spend time with me... and I like that. I like spending time with him. He does good with my boys. For the most part we get along good. But I've learned from my past that I can't control others. I can't make someone love me. I can't make someone stay. Even if I'm happy doesn't mean they are. Then, when he says he is, I force myself to second guess what he is saying. It confuses me. But the thought of loosing him, KILLS me. He has a puppy. I can't have one because I live in an apartment. But he always says I can share his puppy. Yesterday he was talking to the puppy and said "Lets go momma." Referring to me. Today, I text him and said something about wanting a puppy and he said, you have a puppy. I said something about the thing that sucks about sharing his puppy is that when he breaks up with me I loose the puppy too. He said "Good thing I don't plan on breaking up with you." Which I mean, gives me some hope.

I've really only taken this post to Xanga. I haven't mentioned much on my main blog. Mostly because of the blog curse of the boyfriend. Here's to hoping that it doesn't happen. Because I really think this guy could be good in my life. In my children's lives. In each other's lives.

Hello World

Thu, 05 Jan 2012 21:01:07 GMT

I guess I should introduce you to my wonderful, challenging little family. There is a lot to know about us and I'm sure I won't even begin to cover it all here... but you know, that really is the good thing about a blog. You will be updated often! :)

My name is Jessica but everyone calls me Jess. I also went through a Jessie period for awhile. I am 29 years old and I have been married and divorced twice. I have children with my first ex husband. I have an Associates Degree in Health Care Administration and I have completed all my nursing school pre requirements. I got accepted into nursing school and then decided to move so I couldn't go. Now I am kind of glad I didn't because I enjoy my job as a nurse assistant right now. More patient care time. Anyways, I work at a hospital on a medical surgical floor. I have been trained as an emergency room tech as well but it's not where I like to be all the time. It's fast paced for someone who's still learning. :) I would like to go back to school, but I am not sure what for yet. I raise three children. I have them either all year or all year minus 30 days. They keep me going from day to day... even though they are a challenge. Even more so the closer that they get to teenagers. *sigh* I am addicted to reading and texting. I have some OCD about some things and I have some anxiety issues because I feel a need to control things (planning ahead type control, not physical control). But overall, I am busy and I wish I could just take a vacation for awhile to be a stay at home mom with pay!

Laura is my oldest child. She is 12 years old and every bit a pre-teen. They tell me that it's common for smart little girls to turn very silly in junior high... I just hope she comes out of it soon! She is really growing up into a beautiful little woman. She is really girly girl with make up and dresses. She is my social butterfly. She will be friends with anyone until you cross her... then she is super forgiving (at the moment anyways). She typically always makes the honor roll, which surprises me right now because she can look at you when you ask her the simplest thing like "What?". I'm not looking forward to the upcoming teenage years. But at least I've only got one girl! I couldn't imagine a whole house full of girls at this point! Because she can be enough sometimes. :)

Caleb is the middle child... and I hate using that term. That middle child thing always makes kids feel left out or unimportant. He is anything but unimportant. He is 10 years old and he enjoys being out and running. He can be sensitive and shy or he can be happy and funny... at some points he can be angry and not so fun. But who can't be. He has come along way with managing his emotions. He finally enjoys reading... which is something I was never sure he would do. He is very smart when it comes to math and he always swayed that way, but he finally can sit and ejoy a good book. He has fewer friends but he keeps his friends close. He will try to protect them if he can. He is a joy to be around most of the time because he wants to be a people pleaser. :) The teenage years will be something else with this one!

Matthew is my last baby I will be able to have. He is 7 years old and he is spunky and hyper. :) He is shy but cute. He doesn't look like your average 7 year old... as he is more the size of a 4 year old. He has been daignosed with Failure To Thrive... but he is followed closely by doctors and he is height and weight proportionate. Everything comes back normal... he is just small for his age. He is a challenge because he has so much energy and his moods can change in a heart beat. He doesn't sleep much anymore... no matter how late I keep him up. He likes to be outside and playing but also likes to have his quiet time by himself. He isn't your typical child of siblings as a lot of times he prefers to play by himself. He enjoys helping people. He will go out of his way to try to help... and if he can he will make sure he can help before his sister and his brother. I fully expect that some day he will wake up and his pajamas won't fit anymore... he will have spurt up and he will turn tall and skinny. Guess I should put some money aside for some new clothes for the day that happens! :)

We would love to have a pet but we can't have a dog or a cat yet as we live in an apartment building. But hopefully as soon as we move and get settled we will have a puppy again. It's been several years since we have had a pet and we are all getting pretty eager.

Original Post located here.

jessbeth1982's Xanga

Someone...

Hello World